Married to Facebook

                        

                                                 

It baffles ,it surprises and it amuses me!.The Status Updates,The Birthday Wishes,the Community Chats,the Time Line Events,The Health Tips, The Motivational Quotes, The Photographs.....I have to do it all!!! Sometimes I wonder, Has the Voyeur in me, spawned its' ugly head? I know.. I am harmless, and this just fills up my emptiness;but some say...... I am ill! 

STATUS UPDATE::Wish me speedy recovery my friends!I am on treatment for Chronic FB Syndrome.You will be happy to know that I have made good progress and at present,I am FLYING on A BROOM in a bright RED VERSACE GOWN, bought by my hubby (on paper) from UTOPIA and GIFTED to me on the 10th second of the 10th day of OUR 10th Wedding Anniversary. . Location:Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport-00.00 hrs

The disease manifests with one or more of the following symptoms::

1) An irresistible impulsive thought that often translates into action- An urge that compels one to check/use Facebook more than three times a day.(yes... we are talking about OCD here!)

2) An exaggerated sense of self worth shown by bragging about ONES new CAR/HUSBAND/WIFE/WEBSITE/PHONE/NOSE JOB(or anything of fancy to man),one's outrageously RIDICULOUS BLOGS,one's adventurous stints at OFFICE, one's supendofantabulous JOB/BOSS/MOTHER IN LAW ,one's VIDESHI BF/GF, one's HONEYMOON tales,the quality of DANDRUFF in your husband's hair,PARENTING marvels, AND/OR the ethereal experience of capturing through lens your baby's FIRST POO,

3)Reading,liking,commenting,sharing,promoting any of the above mentioned items

4)Passive demonstration of support for social causes and sending gentle reminders to loved ones about impending/on going birthdays, anniversaries,festivals,mother's day,father's day etc exclusively through FB

(The disease may be further classified upon severity of symptoms as acute ,chronic and terminal.At present talks are also on with insurance companies to include this dreaded disease gripping the nation's youth by its' throat, in the insurance cover)

Don't worry...Help is just around the corner!

THE TRIALS ARE ON! If the treatment succeeds,.I PROMISE,the details will come rolling and pitching as FB Updates.Its that SIMPLE!

Friends,you just have to ensure that you log in every 30 secs, so that you don't miss the chance to be the FIRST to LIKE,COMMENT,SHARE the TIMELESS wisdom on my TIMELINE.By the GRACE OF GOD and BY THE MERCY of FATE, usually not a soul approves what I write.But you can always be the FIRST ONE!Who the hell cares, if you missed your chance to snatch that first rank,that first love,that first promotion,that first incentive,that first offshore assignment... FACEBOOK GIVES A FAIR CHANCE TO ALL; WITH ITS NEVER ENDING UPDATES. After all,what are we on FACEBOOK for?

And NAUGHTY YOU, Who does the maximum LIKES,COMMENTS AND SHARES on your page?Hun???!!!So rush to view my latest status update on "Chronic FB Syndrome,Symptoms and Treatment".Champions...You know what to do next!

Now, Drum Roll please and vote of thanks to the following people::

I want to thank my MOTHER who has motivated me to seek treatment and who makes the BEST IDLLI SAMBHAR in the world(Recipe and Photos on FB)!

I want to thank my daughter for her unconditional love displayed by posing for innumerable photographs and garnering maximum votes by exposing her worm infested milk teeth!

I want to thank my husband (on paper)who is always kind and encouraging!He always appreciates my cooking skills through FB comments and likes! He often says that my skills are beyond words!In this context, I also thank my dog who acknowledges my cooking skills.. He stopped barking ever since he drank the Rasam I made two weeks ago.(His latest pics have been uploaded in the album titled-Every Dog has his Day!)

I want to thank my DOCTOR friends for their regular publication of earth shattering and mind numbing photographs of freshly cut Fibroids,Cancerous lungs,Swollen Scrotums and Elephantiasized legs! Try meditating on these pictures for 40 minutes everyday. They have such a calming effect on mind,body and spirit!

I want to thank my fitness freak friends who go marathon running each day, to champion multiple social causes and post their ALIVE/DEAD pictures on FB.

I want to thank Pinky,Dimpy,Rocky,Andy,Paddy,Maddy,Sandy and all my FB friends for liking my yesterday's status update: "I have inherited my mother's COOKING JEANS" (hehehe....funny nah??@ all)

Last, but not the least;I want to thank God for this phenomenon called "Facebook".It's come like sunshine into my life,like a breath of fresh air, like the heart beat of a new born baby...ehh??whatsoever! You got the point, right? I Love U....ILU.....loveeee uuuu!

An IMPOTENT Notice ::All GALS who receive this MSG,plzzzz LIKE otherwise BAD LUCK coming and you GROWING MUSTACHE within 24 Hours.All BOYS who receive this MSG, plzzzz LIKE otherwise TAIL coming out of UR BACKEND within 24 hours.Those who NOT GAL, NOT BOY plzzz LIKE,your VOTE counts!

Love you all,
With my BIG RED HEART (Take a look, it's up as my profile pic! Please like and comment! I am all ears and eyes)

Muaah,love,dear,babes,XOXO,lol,hehe,haha - Sangeetha 

Disclaimer::This article is intended for recreational purpose only.The Illness  and the characters mentioned in the article are fictitious. Resemblance to any person LIVING or DEAD is purely coincidental.

Reference-stupendofantabulous(word outsourced from a TV Dance show)